


Life With Clark

by suzvoy



Category: Smallville
Genre: Futurefic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-25
Updated: 2005-03-25
Packaged: 2017-11-01 09:11:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzvoy/pseuds/suzvoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark's new job turns out to be greatly entertaining. Although for Clark? Not so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life With Clark

## Life With Clark

by Suz

<http://sjhw.net/suzvoy/svfic.html>

* * *

Many, many thanks to Bonnie, who gave me the whole idea. Thanks to nel for looking over it :) _smooch_

Humour! Sap! Future-fic! Clex! 

Feedback would rock. 

* * *

For the twentieth time in five minutes, Clark blew the fake fur out of his eyes. 

The job wasn't so bad, really. People were pretty good about actually taking the coupons rather than just letting them fall to the ground. And though he did get the occasional sarcastic remark - usually from a teenager who needed an attitude transplant - most people simply smiled at him. Which was actually pretty nice. 

It was just that the outfit wasn't particularly comfortable. Tall as he was, the suit must have been made for someone truly impressive because he didn't fill it out exactly right, and the top of the head kept falling into his eyes. 

Still, at least his face was mostly free; it probably would have been even more uncomfortable if he'd been entirely covered up. 

Of course, when he saw who was approaching he rapidly re-thought that last opinion. He wanted his face covered up, and he wanted it covered up _now_. 

She froze. 

He froze. 

Her eyes widened. " _Smallville_?!" 

Oh, God. What was _she_ doing here? Clearing his throat, Clark tried speaking. "Hey, Lois." He held out a coupon, because it was the only thing he could think to do. Well, other than running all the way back to Smallville and hiding in the barn. "Want one?" 

Ignoring his out-stretched hand, she slowly stumbled closer as if in shock. "You're...you're..." 

"Working," Clark replied through clenched teeth, turning slightly to nod towards the store that'd hired him, "for this very nice store that's paying me good money to be here." 

Unsurprisingly, Lois didn't seem to hear any of it. "But you're..." 

"Just working here for a week or two to get some extra money. Make things a little easier at college, you know." 

She had, apparently, reached the limits of her shock, and suddenly the words were screeching out: 

"But you're dressed as a giant bunny rabbit!" 

Well, there was that. 

Determined not to feel (any more) embarrassed, Clark stuck his chin out and tried to look haughty. The effect might have been ruined by the fact that he was dressed as a giant bunny rabbit, but he decided not to let that stop him. "It's good, honest work, which is more than I can say about...Lois?" 

She wasn't listening. In-between gales of laughter - oh yeah, she was so over the shock - she was pulling her cell phone out and calling someone. 

Calling...someone... 

Oh, God. Please, _please_ let her not be calling- 

"Chloe!" Okay, that still wasn't good, but it could have been worse. "You at the coffee shop, yet? Great. You know the candy store around the corner? Yeah, the one with all the chocolate. Come meet me there. Right now." Gaze sliding towards Clark, she smirked. "There's something you _have_ to see." 

Clark considered - for all of two seconds - tackling her for the phone. But he really didn't want to get fired for assaulting a potential customer, and knowing his luck the story would probably end up in the news. 'Giant Bunny Attacks Mad Woman!' 

Yeah. 

Not a good idea. 

So, he had no choice but to grin and bear it. Or maybe grin and glare it because that was a familiar expression around Lois, and God, he had the suckiest luck in suckiest luckdom. What were the odds that Chloe and Lois were going to meet right near here _today_? 

By now Lois had ended the call and was grinning at him. Widely. 

"So," he began, "you two meeting up today, huh?" 

She nodded, grin wicked. "Yup. I have to say, Smallville, this is a new look for you. It may actually be an improvement from your usual farm fresh boy toy look." 

What the...? "I do _not_ dress like a boy toy!" 

A little old lady who'd been walking around him suddenly scampered away, no doubt wondering why a giant bunny would be screaming that, and Clark felt compelled to yell, "Happy Easter!" after her. 

Lois simply eyed him with amusement. "I think you do protest too much." 

Oh yeah? "Well _I_ think you should take that cell phone and shove it-" 

"Hey, Lois," Chloe's voice, which meant Chloe was about to notice him any-"What's going...oh my God, _Clark_?"-second. 

Clark hated his life. 

Only Chloe wasn't laughing hysterically like Lois had been, and was still trying not to. She wasn't pointing and screaming with humour, making as much fun as she could. 

Instead she stared at him, stepped closer, and then leant up and - though he couldn't actually feel it - she stroked his left bunny ear. 

"Oh my God, Clark. You're so _cute_." 

Which was even worse. "I'm not cute!" 

"You're _adorable_ ," she retorted, before suddenly pulling her hand away and digging around in her purse. "I have to take a picture of this for your Mom. She'll love it." 

Oh, crap. "Chloeeeee," he whined, something he hadn't done for at least two years. 

Ignoring him, she pulled out her own cell phone which...oh yeah. Was a camera phone. Chloe had that stupid rich boyfriend in college. 

"Clark," she bargained, smiling up at him, "if you let me do this I promise we'll leave you alone right now." 

Okay, that didn't sound like a bad deal, except for the part where there was photographic evidence of him willingly wearing rabbit ears. 

A quick glance towards the shop made the decision for him; the manager was looking out at them, frowning. "Okay, quickly," Clark said. "I really don't wanna lose my job." 

Stepping back a little, Chloe held the camera phone up and aimed the back at him. "Say 'cheese'." 

"No!" Lois laughed. "Say 'carrots'." 

Clark said, "I hate you," and then the girls were gone, giggling as they took their picture of a grumpy bunny with them. 

* 

In retrospect, it really wasn't Lex's fault that he crashed the latest Porsche. 

Yes, he probably shouldn't have been checking his cellular phone while he was driving - it was a habit he still hadn't broken - but it was hardly his fault that Chloe had sent him a picture of Clark... 

Well. Dressed as a bunny rabbit. 

A _pink_ bunny rabbit, no less. 

After getting the mess cleared up - he'd thankfully damaged little else but the Porsche - he ordered a car to come and drop him off at the address Chloe had also sent along with the picture. 

And really, surprising as the picture had been, nothing could quite prepare Lex for Clark's full splendour. The picture had, after all, only shown Clark's shoulders and head - she hadn't even managed to get a good shot of the ears. 

Here, standing behind Clark, Lex stared with something approaching awe as the six foot-something pink rabbit that stood before him handed out flyers to the people passing him on the street. 

The grin that threatened to take over Lex's face then was nearly overwhelming, and he had to actually wipe his hand across his mouth to try and get rid of the grin. Clark was his best friend. He certainly deserved a little teasing, but Lex didn't want to go too far. 

Eventually calm enough that he wasn't grinning like a lunatic, Lex smoothly approached the rabbit and spoke. 

"I didn't know pink was your colour, Clark." 

It was interesting, watching bunny shoulders hunch forward, and then the lumbering mass of pink fearfully turning towards him. 

And there was Clark's face, beautiful as ever. Surrounded by pink bunny fur. 

There was no stuttering, no questions asking him what he was doing there. Clark simply growled and said, "I am going to _kill_ Chloe." 

Clearly, his friend was upset. Lex had to do something to remedy the situation. 

"There are certainly worse ways to sell your wares on a street corner." 

Clark glared at him, but apparently couldn't stop it from turning into a wry grin. "You think I could get away with being a bunny hooker? Buy some lingerie..." 

Lex chuckled. "I'm sure you could do anything you put your mind to, Clark. Just don't expect me to be a customer." At Clark's frown he gestured towards his own head and continued. "I'd feel a little under-furred." 

"Ah, I getcha." Clark nodded deeply. "Fur envy." 

Lips twisting up again, Lex tipped his head to one side. "So, _this_ is the job you're working over Easter." Clark had told him he'd found a part time job, of course. He just hadn't shared any of the details. 

"Yeah, it is." 

Nodding, Lex took the opportunity to slowly look up and down Clark's body. Slipping his hands into his pants pockets, he eventually met Clark's gaze. "I like the ears." 

Blushing - and damn, it was unbelievable that he still did that - Clark smiled stupidly. "Thanks." 

"Kent?" 

It was an unfamiliar voice that intruded and, judging by the look of horror on Clark's face, it could only be his manager. 

"Uh, Mr Hawes..." 

"Look," the man reeked sheer unpleasantness, leaning into Clark's personal space, "I warned you before after those girls left - you have to actually give the vouchers out, not stand around talking your ears off." 

Clark was shaking his head, the epitome of bunny guilt. "I swear, Mr Hawes, he was just-" 

Making the kind of sacrifice he only ever made for best friends - i.e. Clark - Lex suddenly found himself firmly shaking hands with Clark's imbecile of a boss. "Mr Hawes? Lex Luthor." Releasing the hand, he put on his best business meeting smile. "Your rabbit here was just doing an excellent job of informing me of the services you provide. I've been thinking about buying my staff something for Easter, as an extra thank you for their hard work. I realise it's short notice, but how do you feel about handling 8,000 Easter eggs?" 

As the man stuttered and gasped, Lex herded him back into his own store. Buying 8,000 Easter eggs was a small price to pay for the look of gratitude on that bunny's face. 

Besides, Lex loved chocolate. 

* 

It was a thump that woke him. 

Not in the least bit concerned - even though he didn't know precisely what was going on, he had no doubt as to the who - Lex calmly climbed out of bed and made his way to the lounge. 

A shadowy figure slowly crept around, and when Lex reached out and flicked on the light, the figure froze. 

"What I fail to understand," he began, as Clark quickly shoved a cushion on top of the Easter egg on the sofa, "is how someone with super powers can be so absolutely useless at being sneaky." 

"Go back to bed," Clark huffed, standing there in nothing but his boxer shorts, "you're not supposed to see where I'm hiding these." 

Ah, yes. The yearly Easter egg hunt. Lex swore that sometimes he was actually dating an eight-year old. Although... "You realise it's not actually Easter yet." 

"You get Easter twice this year," Clark replied, trying to hide another box behind his back. "You did save me from losing my job, after all." 

"It was partially my fault you nearly lost it in the first place." Though, of course, it was mostly the fault of Clark's idiot manager. Tired, Lex sighed. "Clark, come back to bed. Please." They both knew it took him a long time to fall asleep if Clark wasn't there now, but he wasn't about to say that out loud. 

Considering for a moment, Clark straightened up and grinned. "Close your eyes." 

Sighing, Lex nonetheless complied and one whooshing sound and Clark saying "Done!" later, he was opening them again. Clark stood there proudly, his hands empty. 

The last egg had been hidden. 

Shaking his head in bemusement, Lex turned, switched off the light, and led the way back to the bedroom. 

After clambering into bed, Clark murmured "C'mere," and Lex let himself been drawn into warm, reassuring arms. 

Closing his eyes, Lex let out a heavy breath. It was so peaceful here- 

"Hey," Clark said quietly, "you want me to wear the rabbit suit in bed tomorrow night?" 

"No," he didn't hesitate, didn't open his eyes. "There are some things even I'm not into, Clark, and screwing bunnies is one of them." 

Snickering, Clark kissed the back of his head, squeezed him a little tighter, and relaxed back onto the bed. 

Lex really was comfortable, and content; there was just one tiny little thing... "Is it behind the sofa?" 

Clark sighed. "No." 

"Under the chair?" 

"No." 

"Inside the TV cabinet?" 

"Go to sleep, Lex." 

There were only so many places it could be. "In the drinks cupboard?" 

"Lex, either you go to sleep, or I'll tell Mom tomorrow that you tried to cheat again." 

Lex shut up. 

"You're silly sometimes," Clark breathed sleepily, before pressing a sloppy kiss to Lex's shoulder. "Love you." 

Mentally clearing his throat, Lex burrowed further back against the body wrapped around his. He _may_ have been silly on occasion, but he wasn't the one parading around Metropolis in a pink bunny suit. 

First thing tomorrow he was getting that picture of Clark printed out. Life as a Luthor had taught him that blackmail material was always useful. 

And life with Clark had taught him it'd be really entertaining keeping it in his wallet. 

**~FINIS**

* * *

A bunch of different people made a bunch of different pictures/covers to go with this fic. I'm linking to them at the end here, because I didn't want to spoil the story. Heh. 

Anyway, you can see them all here: <http://www.livejournal.com/users/suzvoy/1192391.html>


End file.
